You know when you look at life and think: wow, what's happened? It's been happening to me a lot these days. There are some moments I see myself in such a different path I thought I was taking, and it scares me to death. I used to have expectations, and plans, and dreams.
But they've all changed so much, life has changed so much. I've always been in favor
of changes, it is actually something I find necessary, constant movement. I get bored very easily, I get impatient, I feel trapped. I must feel constant renovation, different smiles and tears.
But changes come so fast we normally don't have time to notice them, and they feel like a landslide, and if you're not clever enough it will bring you down and you won't have time to breathe and to look for the surface. The worst part is when the change comes and stops in the middle, and you gotta handle it, and suffer through it till you get to the right path again.
But the path ain't straight, nothing is that easy. You gotta get through with the moods. You gotta accept life like you accept the wind, sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's cold. And it is there, and there's nothing you can do to stop it, it's greater than you.
What's scarier than the changes that surround us, are the changes within our core. You can take years to form an opinion, months to agree with a point o view, but it takes only one second to destroy the concepts you've had your entire life. In this significant second, something moves you towards your new path and you gotta be clever again not to lose your way. I've been dealing with a lot of new concepts I adopted. They are not new, if I put my mind to it, they have always been there, hidden deep inside... I like it, but it scares me. As it is supposed to be.
How can you deal with a whole new self? How can you make people see you are an old-new person? You can't. That's why people enter your life and people leave it without even a goodbye note.
But that's not my point, my point is: changing is good. I fear it so bad that I'm in love with it! The changes are so outrageously awesome that I don't know how to describe what I feel sometimes. Don't be afraid of changing, you gotta change till the emptyness gets filled up. And then you'll change again.